Granny on Board

My favourite urban legend. From Snopes, other versions are available.

There was a family from Surrey who decided to spend their vacation in France, taking their elderly grandma with them. Granny spent all their stay complaining. Well, not quite all of it, because a little way into the holiday, she died on them.

Deciding that the old woman whould hate not to be buried in her beloved Blighty, the family set about returning her home, and, mindful of the customs and other problems they might face, they resolved to hide her. So they bought a cheap bit of carpet, and rolled the wrinkled little corpse up in it. Granny's body was by now too stiff to bend on to a car seat, so they had to strap her on the roof-rack. In this way she was driven across France for two days, through driving rain and baking sunshine, across the Channel by ferry, and finally all the way home.

Unhappily, having made it back without a hitch, the family were devastated when, after a well-earned cuppa, they went outside to find the car stolen -- carpet, Granny and all. And they were never recovered.

!SR